zilkha's Xanga

Sensuality

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:22:52 GMT

I did /not/ expect my boyfriend to be so attuned to sensuality. But... I like it.

Chamomile Tea

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:24:48 GMT

I'm no expert at tea, but I do appreciate a decent cup. It is very relaxing and a nice alternative to water when you don't want to consume any more calories. Since my parents have had chamomile tea in their shop, I've always loved it. They always order from Celestial Seasonings, so the chamomile tea that I'm speaking of only refers to this particular brand. It happens to be caffeine free. And additionally, the box that they newly designed is very environmentally conscience. The tea bags that they use do not use staples, or string or those little tags that lipton bags do. Now that may not seem like a lot, but it saves a lot of trees in the long run! The taste is much different from other teas. It has a certain roundness to it, and the taste is very complementary to added sugar or honey. I find myself sighing after drinking a cup. That's just how soothing it is! Compared to bitter tea (and I do mean bitter), when after drinking it, life just seems sweeter because you tasted something not necessarily awful, but takes time to appreciate. There's no caffeine in it too, unlike other teas. Another tea that I particularly like is rose tea, but I will save that for another time.

I have so much work to do, but it is nice to just stay up some times, despite being weary, and enjoy your work. Or am I just being a workaholic? See you!

Read This When You Are Bored

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 01:25:51 GMT

I haven't done these survey thingies in a long time. =D

Deleted question 1.

2. What have you learned from life that makes you who you are today?

Never give up looking for something.
3. What are your plans (goals) for the future?

Er, get a job! Become a doctor and help people and pass on my knowledge to others. That kind of thing.

4. If I had an accident and be left with terrible scars for life, would you still love me?

Yes, I would.

5. What is it of me that you like the most?

Skipped because it was too difficult to explain.

6. How do you remember your “first love”?

I wronged him.
7. After me, who is your closest male friend?

Wait, what? I guess it would be Kevin.

8. How do you remember my first impression?

He had awesome hair. SAT II Biology. xD

9. Would you leave me for a celebrity that really really liked you?

No. Not interested in fame or power.

Deleted question ten.

11. Do you still have feelings for an ex?

No.

12. What is your best kept intimate secret?

Well if it was best kept then I wouldn't be keeping it very well if I said it right?

13. How do you visualize the perfect man? What are his attributes?

He would be absolutely trustworthy and would love their significant other more than their significant other loved them. That, and very sexy shoulders. LOL

Deleted question 14.

15. How would you react if I was dating another woman?

Pretty upset, but it depends where we are right now.

16. At what age do you plan to get married?

After college and before 30.

17. What is it that you don’t like about me?

That I don't get to see you very often.

18. What would be your best reason to break up with me?

Ouch. I don't want to answer. I'm too optimistic.

19. How would you react if the doctor told me that I have a deadly disease? Would you still love me?

Of course!

20. If I had to move far away for many years, would you wait for me?

Of course I would. Even if you were drafted for the army.

21. If we had a child born with health problems, how would you handle the situation?

My cousin has health problems. Just because they were born less fortunately, doesn't mean that they can't live happy lives. I would love them just as much as if they were healthy. And /never/ would I feel unlucky or ungrateful.

22. What are your financial goals for the future?

To be able to afford the house I am living in right now. That's good enough for me. =)

23. How and when would you know if I am the right one?

I don't know, but I am ready to believe. I guess time is the true test.

24. Do you believe in God? Why?

No. I believe in the goddess in myself. That and Buddhism's philosophical principles.

25. Have you ever had the feeling you were being watched?

Yes -shivers-.
26. So, do you really think we evolved from apes? Seriously?

Of course. What do you think? Fish?
27. What would you do if you were the last person on this earth?

Probably die. I don't know how to take care of myself.

Deleted question 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34.

35. Do you rather follow your heart (that does not think) or your head (that does think)?

I would rather follow my heart. I try my best to align my heart with my head. That's the best combination. =)

Deleted question 36.

37. Do you think the past matters in a relationship?

Let's be realistic. It does. Who you are is a set of genetics and also the environment that you grew up in. So the past does matter.

Deleted 38, 39, 40.

41. Do you agree with: were there was fire, ashes remain?

Well duh. Fire needs something to burn? o_o

Awake Early

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:13:38 GMT

Okay, so I woke up at 6 today because my friend called about the Breast Cancer Walk. Our freshies and some seniors might be attending, and she's worried that they might get lost or something. So here I am doing some work, waiting for her or them to call.

I'm really sad (I read from somewhere that if you stay true to your feelings and understand why, you're emotions won't get the best of you). We might not meet today, and even if we do, it'll only be for one or two hours. I can wait, but I can't do it enthusiastically. That's beyond me. I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him... I should stop. I sound like a stalker. I really need those two hours, that one hour, that half an hour.. It kills me to remind him that he has to leave. But what can I do? I can't not miss him and I can't keep my mind from wandering to him when he's not around. At the same time, I'd rather feel the loneliness of being apart then going back to fooling myself that I could live without it.

I have to get back to work, or whatever it is I was doing. So much work.

Tired

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:17:54 GMT

Hello guys! Thank goodness they have premade layouts. I like this one. And besides, although I liked the previous one, it was really difficult to read and the text didn't have any capital letters. So here it is! Change is good in this case.

I'm so tired today. Hehe. xD Nothing new, right? Today at 12:30PM, I arrived at Forest Park for the Light the Night Walk. I stayed till 7:00 PM. My Red Cross Club was responsible for helping teams that collected more than $1000 in funds to make a banner for their walk. Although it was fun, it kind of rained, and we didn't have a tent, so the banners were getting wet and everything. But it was still fun, because since there were so many members, half the time we were playing silly games like Blob Tag and Red Rover. xD We even had time to go to Trader Joes and Michael's! But a VP's got to do what a VP's got to do, and that is to take attendance and get everything rolling along. So I get it rolling along.

I mean these past few weeks, my academics have really been taking a lot of time. Each AP class requires much attention, and on top of that I have to take care of this club and yada yada yada... Sometimes I think I would be happier with less responsibilities, but I know that I won't be happy if I didn't do anything either. I love helping people and being of service to others. It makes life fulfilling, I think. ^^

Well, just for fun, lets talk about some other hobby that I thought I had. xD That's cosmetics. I think this year I was really interested in it. I really admire people who take time for themselves to look more beautiful. But on the other hand, I don't feel comfortable when I put a lot of makeup on. I love the big ulzzang eyes, but I'm afraid of those contact lenses, and also putting on fake eyelashes. And yikes, those eyes are extremely huge looking. I think I'm just that mascara and chap stick kind of girl. xD That's fine with me~.

Glow

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 01:08:38 GMT

I'm shallow.
I'm deep.
I'm bitter.
I weep.

My hands are dry. My feet are slow. My hands are cold. My head lies low.

Memories are thin.
Grudges are deep.
Forgiveness is shallow and hearts just can't weep.

In the palm of your hand, in the pit of my grief, in the crests of the storms, in the rest of my thief
Who I can pick from a crowd, a sea of one kind, a lasting impression, an herb that I grind,
Minds are to wander and regrets gather snow, spirit like a tide, and will like coal: Glow.

But this is anatomically speaking, reality is not so.
Another dimension: Glow, glow, glow!

- a. l.

--edit--

Gee, I haven't written poetry in a while. ^^ It's very refreshing and spiritually invigorating. i just want to point out that the theme of this poem is trying to emphasize the realities of self-confidence and the true human limits of forigveness and the eventual departure of anger. we all know that it leaves us feeling sullen even regretful of our moment of passion. gee, i sound like a preacher.

anyways. off to sleep now. good night.

I Hate Politics

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:52:46 GMT

Okay, so here it is:

Term limits are the issue and the biggest issue. Bloomberg lied for 7 years and then when his advisors told him another referendum would once again show NYers favoured term limits, he used the excuse there was no way to set up a referendum and got his members of the City Council to upset the will of the people. He is a liar on this issue and also has no concept of the outer boroughs. Everything he is for Manhattan and Manhattan only. Remember the blackout in Queens three years ago? How he said oh Con Edison is doing the best it can and no big deal, nobody died. I am sure to this day that such a situation would not have been allowed to happen on the Mayor’s block and if it did, power would have been restored within hours but since it was Queens, it was no big deal to this mayor.

We have to get rid of him as well as some of his lackeys such as the unqualified uncertified incompetent chancellor Mr. Klein. Until Klein goes, the schools will continue to disintergrate.

-Jeff S.

That was a comment made from the NY1 Debate. I did not have the time to watch it, but I was reading the comments on the NY Times. And oh my gosh... let me just put my word out there.

First of all, term limits are not the issue. They are not the biggest issue. What about education? What about jobs? What about the economy? The mundane but necessary tasks that each day necessitates? Those are the important issues. And I don't understand why the people have to be so offended just because Mike Bloomberg is a liar. Did the requirements of becoming a Mayor enlist sainthood in it? For indeed, the Holy Bible says, there is no human that has not sinned. Clearly this person is unconvincing because firstly, I know off the top of my head that this guy is hotheaded, and that he makes assumptions based on the impure image that Thompson garnered of Bloomberg in his campaign. Sure, Bloomberg is rich. And some people genuinely resent that. But don't you think that New York City deserves someone who possesses that economical power and influence? I feel like Thompson has so little to argue about that he has to blow up such a tiny thing. Integrity my ass. I think we all should be /lucky/ that Bloomberg decided to run again. Because, may the trees smite me if I am wrong, Thompson will definitely screw us over more than Bloomberg will. And true to what Bloomberg says, who is more qualified? Thompson only defended his record with a blatant statement, but spent most of his time prodding Bloomberg's. Truly, he has nothing to show to the citizens except the ugliness of both sides. And Thompson was saying that charities that Bloomberg gave were actually pay-endorsements. That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. Thompson, would you rather Bloomberg give the money or not? I don't think he realizes just how much the value of a donation to a charity is. True, there may be no such thing as pure altruism. But I would rather Bloomberg save a couple hundred lives than have Bloomberg not pay because he'd risk himself of looking like a corrupt fiend. I think if Thompson focused more on his record, he'd be much more of a convincing opponent to Bloomberg.

Confession: Obsession with Handbags

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:52:07 GMT

All right. Girls I know have a liking for some type of accessory or clothing. Some people like shoes, for some makeup, for some others just apparel in general. What do I like? Handbags~. I have this idea that I like to believe in (but in the larger context, is probably false), that one's handbag is an expression of yourself. Well at least, when you were picking out the bag, you had the small idea at least that you liked it. Or at the very least, your mom did. lol. I don't spend a lot of money at all on handbags, as I am still a dependent teenager (well I did have a job before, but I'm saving that money for college books). The first handbag that I got was this white Coach handbag that I still use, but because its white, it gets dirty easily. You can see that it turned into an off white from usage and has some nasty pen markings. Oops! I lied. My first designer handbag was this blue, small Dooney and Bourke bag. The bag that I use the most is this canvas Fossil bag because it is really great quality, its pink and its a little on the cheap end. o_o So I'm not afraid to mess with it. I realize now that I like bags that no one else has. I don't like the typical Coach logo-drenched bag, nor the Gucci bag like that. That includes Louis Vuitton Speedys. They are not cute at all! I think the fact that a lot of people have one thing actually lowers the value of that bag. So goodbye Coach. There's a lesser known designer handbag, the Dooney and Bourke. Some people don't like Dooney and Bourke because their interpretations of trends and girliness can be a little bit... off. But it does have some nice pieces, that are very unique. Nowadays they are taking a slightly more sophisticated style, and I see that a lot of my classmates are wearing Dooney and Bourke. They are a rather affordable quality handbag, and I do like them. This is the one I am currently using:

It is the Linear Dooney and Bourke Medium Chiara in Blue (retails for $265). This bag has been discontinued, but the Chiara bag style still continues. I just think it is so~ cute. It has the cute little tassel endings, poppin' gold tirm, and the fact that its blue makes it match with most of my jean outfits. The organization is very nice also. All in all, I think its cute and sure to stop a few people in their tracks. =T Anyways, I have to stop procrastinating. Good bye!

Daily Thought

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 19:14:25 GMT

I'd like to have:

1. More pants, specifically skinny jeans.
2. More hair.
3. Less clothing in my closet that I don't wear ever.
4. To actually use my new LV Summit Drive... instead of idolizing it.
5. More time to write my College applications.
6. Less inclination to procrastinate.
7. More oppurtunity to shop for clothes to replace the clothes I'm going to throw away.
8. A pair of good quality winter boots. ^^
9. Time to finish my work in general.
10. Time to volunteer for my mayoral campaign.

The Master Plan

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 09:36:21 GMT

I have a bad feeling about planning moves, but he's just too cute! I can't resist. As you know, I really have my heart in my headphones. Music is my first voice, and speech is my second. Yesterday I mean, we were walking to eat lunch, and I stopped midway on the block and forgot that I hadn't played piano for him. Usually when I play for people, I get a little messed up. Sure I made a few mistakes in front of him, but the point was, I just loved making him smile. I'm telling him I really like him without any words at all. What's cute was, when I finished, he told me: "I always think I'm the lucky one." Eep... he's such a cutie.

And he also plays handball! And let my xanga never be known by my boyfriend. Ahh... okay if he asks so, I'll let him read it. xD WITHOUT FEAR!! Well, maybe a little bit.

His arms are so sexy... and i can't believe i said that. but i love, love, love when we hug. it's just so warm and cozy... fwa~ (and all the girly mushy gushy ensues)

BACK to music. I love Mariah Carey. I love her older hits, and when David Cook had his own husky-voiced version of one of the newer songs, I just couldn't help it. I want him to hear this song. And understand it... that I'm hopeful. That perhaps the lyrics express love that is two steps ahead of where we are now, but I feel that we'll defininitely reach that destination.

hm...I'll let the rest hover into the sky.

So here is my master plan. We haven't said I love you to each other yet. It is not like that I don't want to hear it... infact, its the opposite. but only when the time is right! I thought I heard him say that on the phone, and I asked him on aim... and he said to me that he refuses to say it any way other than in person. I'm so... positive that I'm in love with him. AH! Back to the master plan...

-deleted it- Too embarassing to say! but i'll keep you guessing...

But here is the song I really like:

Always Be My Baby (Studio) - David Cook